It's been one week

So, I'm a week in.
Officially, I've lost a pound - but the scale actually says that I've lost six. Could be water weight, could just be vagaries of the scale, I'll see what it's saying in another week before I take it seriously.
I am finding already that I am satisfied with much smaller meals. Last night, a Greek salad (village style) and three medallions of pork loin was more than enough for a meal.
I am learning to not let myself get hungry... small intelligent snacks are good. I find those little Kashi bars are good at work. One at lunch with some yogurt, another at 3... much better than running out for a sandwich.
I confirm that breakfast is really important. 1 or 2 pieces of sprouted grains toast with organic peanut butter and green tea... 1 piece of toast with peanut butter and some yogurt with soluble fiber stirred in and I'm good for the morning.
I am still struggling with wine... I had too much this week (for dietary reasons, not propriety). It's just so easy to open a bottle, sit out back and talk with my sweetie (who is, coincidentally, my wife)
And I didn't get enough time on the bike... they gym was good, but not as long as I would have liked.... So, I'll put last week behind me and work on this week.
My crabbiness is also abating... I don't want to smack children with red licorice... but I do want to steal it from them.
In the interests of full disclosure, I will confess that I was unwise last night... I sat around an open fire with my wife... in our backyard... with a couple of ounces of Irish Whisky in a glass and a marshmallow on a stick. I toasted and ate four. Not a bag.. just four...over a 90 minute period... and it was heaven!

Not as easy as I had hoped...

It's still early.
It's only been 4 days.
I'm stunned to discover that I haven't last 10 lbs already.
(well,not really... but you sort of dream, you know?)
Thus far, I've been cutting back, but in four days, I have had a Holiday (hard not to eat/drink to excess), a very busy schedule with the church (hard to eat slowly and regularly), lunch at a parishoner's home (hard to say no to dessert or a glass of wine)
But I'm trying.
I've been taking soluble fiber to even out the sugar cravings and create the feeling of "fullness"..
I've been riding my bike
And I've wanted to smack small children eating red licorice!
I love red licorice and I truly resent people eating it around me...
So, I guess I would have to say that thus far, I am managing (somewhat) and becoming crabby (somewhat). I am hoping for a slight mood alteration... I'm generally okay with crabby, but I'm pretty sure that if I go around smacking kids and taking their licorice it will make the papers - and not in a good way.

My Prayer today... God, help me keep my hands to myself. Not reaching out for a cookie, or an extra sandwich and especially not to smack candy eating children. Help me grow up,even as I try to grow down. Amen

How are you going to do it??

Everybody wants to know how I'm going to lose this weight. They all have wonderful diets to recommend and plans to follow: South Beach, Cabbage Diet, Jenny Craig, Remove all Fruits and Roots (basically cut out sugar), eat nothing squishy or white (I'm not an cannibal!), go vegetarian, eat only meat, cut out butter, eat only butter (okay, I made that one up). On the weekend, I mentioned that I ate Lasagne... how could I not? As also mentioned, my wife makes a lasagne that makes old Italian men go home and slap their mothers... but with dinner on Sunday, left overs for lunch and dinner on Monday, I ate as much lasagne in three meals as I would normally eat at one dinner. Not great... but it's a start. You see, I don't want a diet... I want a change that will continue after I've lost the 30 lbs. So, I'm eating less and exercising more.
Here a few things that I will be doing:
No eating in front of the TV
Including more soluble fiber in my diet (supplements may be required)
Always eat breakfast
Increase my water consumption
Exercise for at least 30 minutes everyday
Exercise for more than an hour at least 3 times a week
Sleep at least 7 hours a night
Eat small portions slowly
No more than 8 glasses of wine a week (no hold overs)
Never allow myself to stay hungry
Walk around the block to my car (I could park a couple of blocks away from the church, but people like to see my car and know that I'm in...)

My other thought is to try Pray the weight away. I'll call it the Prayer Diet... every time I'm hungry, I'll just pray until the feeling goes away.
Hey, Luther had his Diet of Worms... although I don't think it had much to do with weight loss, as he died very overweight. (look it up)

My prayer... God, if you can do this for me - do it. If you're not prepared to do it for me, inspire me to do it myself. Keep me laughing and help me let go of my self even as I let go of the pounds. Amen

Day 1 (after the weigh in, that is)

So, last night the lasagne was brilliant... but I had a small portion. I did have a two glasses of '99 Amarone Classico (Masi) and some raw vegetables. Not great - but not egrigious. This morning I'm up bright and early, green tea, organic peanut butter on sprouted grains toast and 30 minutes on the exercise bike (10 miles it says.. not a bad speed, I suppose). Soon, the dog gets walked and there will be a little left over lasagne for lunch or dinner...
I have been warned off all dairy, especially cheese, by wise kind friends, but at this point I'm not willing to leave cheese alone. I am trying for a life-style modification more than a diet... and with my great affection for French and Italian cuisines, I am going to eat cheese at some point. I don't have to eat much and I don't have to do it too often - but I simply can't swear it off. (yes this lasagne has cheese - provolone, ricotta, cheddar, mozzarella, parmesan... but this dish is a very special and rare treat in my house).
I have also found from experience that I go into something intensely for a month, but will give it up after 6 weeks... so, I don't want this to be intense, but lasting. So, I'm easing into it.... (at least, I sincerely hope so)
Prayer?
God, let me focus on today... yesterday is done and tomorrow will come when it comes... today, I can balance my life. Amen (oh, and a Habs victory would be nice, too!)

It has begun!

So, it's official. I start at 280lbs... That was one of the hardest things that I've done in a long, long time - so weigh myself and announce the numbers to a Sunday morning congregation. I love my congregation and they love me... but it's tough. I remember going to the Grand Canyon 14 or 15 years ago and not being allowed to ride their horses or donkeys because I was over the weight limit. Being a very competent rider made it even more humiliating because the more that I wanted to talk them into it, the more I sounded like the fat guy at the buffet trying to convince the management that "all you can eat" is a guaranteed right. The next day, I approached a guide about riding one of his horses out into the desert and he happily complied. I asked him if he was concerned about my weight on his horse and he said, "No way - I've seen the way you sit a horse and you remind me of the Duke. I used to train John Wayne's horses for movies and as big as he was, nobody sat a horse better than him.... you sit just like him." His name was Bill Jones and he made my day... heck, I'm retelling the story 14 years later! He reminded me that riding a horse is not about weight... and most of the time what I do has nothing to do with weight... I preach, I teach, I listen, I sing, I play music, I create, I pastor, I parent, I taste, I write... I love, I laugh, I play... none of those things really has anything to do with my weight. But standing on the scale today, in front of everybody... I felt like my weight was all that mattered. And that sucks!
No matter I do in life - I do not want to be defined by any physical feature or any single aspect of myself... and especially not my weight. So, even as I go forward with this project and this blog, I want to remember that... and not be defined by my weight or by my weight loss.
After all - I sit a horse just like John Wayne!
(who actually was not a great rider... but you couldn't knock him off!)
My prayer: God, let me remember how you see me... multi-faceted, lovable and capable and let me not forget my many facets, even as I work on one. Amen

Today is the day...

So, it's 6:50 Sunday Morning on the day of my weigh-in. I'd thought of stuffing myself for breakfast just to add a pound to the weigh in, figuring that I would lose first pound so easily... but having weighed myself already and realizing that I weigh so much than I thought, I'm not willing to add any extra pounds. If it wouldn't forever change my relationship with my congregation (and not in a good way), I'd do the weigh in naked, just to get the starting number down.
Of course, we are celebrating my eldest son's birthday tonight and his only request is that his mother make Lasagne. My wife makes a lasagne that people travel from foreign countries to experience... old Italian men curse their mother's cooking upon tasting my wife's lasagne (a small exaggeration, perhaps). The investment in cheese and meat is not small... and it's one of the my favourite experiences in all the world. I have stood on the edge of the Grand Canyon, walked the Labyrinth in Chartres, seen the descending angels at the Cathedral in Bath... none compares with sitting down to my wife's lasagne.
Spider Robinson noted that "God is an iron".
If a burglar commits burglary and an adulterer, adultery... than God is an iron.

It must be almost time, I'm getting romantic and obsessing on food.
Enough of this!... I will eat Lasagne tonight, I just won't eat as much - I will have on glass of wine with dinner, not two or three... and I will take my dog for a 12 mile walk before and after dinner (a small exaggeration, perhaps)

My prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the portions I can enjoy, the courage to stay away "too much", and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen
(with apologies to Bill W. and friends)

I start in 2 days...

So, it's Friday and I've just bought the scale for my weigh in on Sunday.
I don't weigh myself. Even when I was a healthy weight I didn't care to weigh myself. But I've got about $380/lb in sponsorship right now, so I need to weigh in.
In front of my congregation. I am feeling a little vulnerable about that... (it's not an accident that I picked a Holiday Weekend).
So, I've got two days... part of me doesn't want to being exercising or cutting back on food because I don't want to lose any weight for free... but I just weighed myself on the new scale and I'm 15 lbs heavier than I thought.
I am not happy....
But I will be.
I know that I can do this... and with some prayer, some focus, a few life style changes, and a minor miracle, I can do this.
My prayer: C'mon God... I don't need the stilling of a storm or the parting of a sea... just make pasta a negative calorie option and turn my wine into water immediately after I drink it.. PLEASE... Amen