Did it!!

So, now it’s done.
Back at the end of May, I made a bet with Jubilee United Church. I bet that I could lose 25 lbs before the end of October. Following a liturgical calendar, I was betting that I could lose 25 lbs between the festival of Pentecost and the Feast of All Saints. (What I meant was “I had better weigh in before Hallowe’en or I’m in big trouble!”). Should I lose the bet, I offered to donate $1,000 to the ministry of Jubilee United Church. Should I win the bet, I was hoping that people might sponsor me by the pound, paying off for anything between 25 and 30 lbs lost. People seemed to be supportive. I imagined that I could even raise a couple of hundred dollars a pound – Imagine! I could lose 25 lbs and Jubilee would have an additional $5,000 to support ministry in Don Mills!!.
Well, that was not to be.
Instead, I lost over 30 lbs. On Sunday, October 31st, I weighed in at 248 lbs. – over 30 lbs less than when I started.
And people pledged almost $600/lb. That’s almost $18,000 to support the work and ministry that is Jubilee. WOW!
First, allow me to thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart... a heart that actually works less these days and should keep working longer. I have been overwhelmed by the support from the whole community. From the people offering me advice, the people spying on me in the grocery store, the people who read and supported this blog,, the people who were still adding sponsorship a week before my weigh in and those who also made it a mission to lose weight along with me (you look fabulous, by the way!).

So what did I do the afternoon after the weigh in?

You have to promise not to tell anybody...

I went to McDonald’s.
I went to the drive-thru.
I ordered a double quarter pounder with cheese.
Plain (I think that the condiments are probably not very healthy).
I ordered it as a meal.... with fries and a Coke.

I drove away with my meal in bag and looked for somewhere secluded to park. I imagine that it’s a similar feeling to cheat on a spouse... I was looking for somewhere to hide and indulge in my dirty little secret. Hidden behind a school, with no on around, I opened the bag. I rationalized: “Well, come on... I’ve been so good – I deserve to do something greasy and dirty and wrong.....”
I took a bite.
Salty fat filled my mouth...
I scarfed some fries.... more salty fat filled my mouth...
I washed it down with the forbidden elixir known as Coca-Cola...
I won’t lie... it tasted good.

Sort of...

But by the third bite, bite and sip, I was beginning to wonder what I ever saw in such things. I’m not going to give up greasy fat for life... but if I’m going to indulge, I think that it will be with lovingly made, hot frites, home made mayonnaise and a glass of champagne. I mean really... do I want my indulgences to be experienced in a car or in a place of comfort where I can enjoy myself with the fear of “being caught”? (this sounds eerily similar to a discussion I had with a young lady back in my formative years.....)

I indulged and discovered that I really don’t want to go there again. I really wasn’t missing anything. And after that, Monday was pretty much the same as Monday last week. I ate the same way, rode the bike the same way, and I believe, continued to live my life the way that I intend to for the rest of it... (although I’m thinking that I could look good in hats...)

In response to numerous requests, let me share with you my secrets

Actually, I have no secrets. There was no diet; no special regimen from which I am not released. I made a few simple changes. Here are a few:

1. Bread. I didn’t stop eating it – but eat a lot less of it. I gave up sandwiches for wraps and ignored the bread basket at restaurants. (unless it was hot and fresh... come on, I’m only human)
2. Water. I drink a lot of it. I drink still water, tap water, imported water, sparkling water.. I drink it during the day, I drink it at night. At a pub with friends or at a restaurant, I always have a large bottle of sparkling water first. Then, when I have a glass of wine or a pint of lager, I’m not drinking for thirst but for taste and I drink a lot less.
3. Eat slowly. I take my time and don’t wolf down my food or attack it like a challenge. The slower that I eat, the less I eat. (Turns out, my mother was right.).
4. Simple breakfast every day. Sugar free, high fibre, protein cereal and green tea. Or sprouted grains English Muffin and organic peanut butter and green tea. I’m not hungry for the rest of the morning.
5. No fast food. I don’t drive-thru; I don’t pick up; I almost never order in... If I’m in a rush a Zone Perfect bar does the trick.
6. I snack on crunchy sugar free cereal instead of nuts and candy. As long as it crunches, I’m happy.
7. Most of my eating is intentional... I work at not eating when I’m bored or when I’m watching TV and not paying attention to my hunger. Bored habit eating was a big problem for me.
8. No Nachos. (They are evil. I love them and they keep trying to sneak into my life... sometimes disguised as a Cheese Dip or sometimes the only thing on menu that can be shared... but I must resist their hot salty goodness.)
9. I walk a lot. More often. Great distances. My dog likes it... my wife likes the peace and quiet (she stays home).
10. Finally... occaissionally, I cheat. Every now and then, I forget about the rules – eat the bread, order the nachos, start with the wine. But then, the next day, I go back to my good habits.

So, you can see that I don’t really have a diet or a program that ends now that I’ve lost the weight. It is my hope and my firm belief that I will continue to lose weight until my body finds that weight that’s right for me. I knew that it wasn’t 286... I’m pretty sure that it’s not 248... so, in time, I will find my correct weight. And as I go, I will likely continue to blog. So, if you are inclined to keep reading, I will try to give you something to read....

But for now: Thanks for reading and supporting. If you pledged money, rest assured, i will be in touch soon!

It's time...

Well, it's weigh in day.
Today
3 hours and 24 minutes from now, I'll be standing on a scale in front of my congregation.
I've lost a lot of weight, but I'm still not looking forward to weighing in, in front of people. Even if I make it below 250 - that's a lot of weight loss, but I will still weigh 250 which is more than I need to weigh. I don't need to be publicly reminded of that... But, for my discomfort; if I make it - we should raise a little bit under $18,000 for Jubilee United Church.
$18,000 for the programmes that I believe in...
$18,000 for intergenerational activity (where else do 14 year olds and 40 year olds, not related, get to work, play and share together?)
$18,000 for exploring and talking about spirituality, God and being part of the arc of the universe that bends toward justice...
$18,000 for modeling not just tolerance, but engagement with ideas and politics across a broad spectrum.
$18,000 for making music with kids, walking labyrinths with all ages, clothing the naked, housing the homeless, feeding the hungry and welcoming the stranger.... not always perfectly but sincerely and hopefully.

Okay... enough preaching.

This past week has been tough.
I was two days on the road to Ottawa to lead a workshop. Everyone knows that you never eat properly on the road. It's a 4 hour drive each way, with each mile marked by red licorice or maltesers (sometimes I'll mix it up with gummi bears and chips) and as I am against bottled water, but need something to drink, I will consume a couple bottles of Coke. You don't have to be Kreskin to see where this is going...(although you do have to be old to appreciate that reference)
Also, while in Ottawa, I was looking forward to dinner with friends. Friends that I haven't seen in years. Friends that know good food and I was hoping would be willing to share that knowledge with me. (in truth, I would have enjoyed a cold pizza with them, as long as we could talk... they are both fascinating individuals)
Upon my return from Ottawa, I was scheduled to attend a Wine-Makers dinner. Wine tasting followed by 5 courses prepared by a Master Chef and accompanied by the fermented fruit of the Wine Maker's labours.

Not a good week in which to lose weight...

I went into the week determined not to be turned into foie gras (if you don't know the process, you're probably happier... let it go).

I drove to Ottawa with glass bottles of Sparkling Water and two bags of rice crackers (bbq and cracked pepper). Each bag represented 900 calories. They got me there and back, with about half a bag to spare. I didn't get bored... although drinking 3 liters of bubbly water did necessitate a stop on the way (unheard of on previous trips)
Fast food at the workshop was mitigated by the presence of salad at Wendys (bless her little red head).
Dinner with friends?? Well, we started talking over wine and cheese... (not good); we then went to a fantastic restaurant in Ottawa (Beckta)... and I was forced to make my way through amuse bouche, gnudi, duck breast, some truffles and appropriate wines. (not good, not good at all... which is to say - really good, really, really good... and who cares about a weigh in?!)

Upon my return to Toronto... I had to wrestle with the twin demons of Norman Hardie (brilliant wine maker) and Didier Leroy (French chef without peer). I did declare "Get thee behind me, Satan..." but the servers kept bringing the wine and food forward, rendering the relative positions of Didier and Norman, meaningless. Chardonnay, Melon de Bourgogne, Pinot Gris, Pinot Noir, more Pinot Noir, Cabernet Franc...Oysters, Artic Char, Quail, Fillet of Beef, Cheese.. I'm beginning to think to heck with it, I'll give the church $18,000 myself!

So, you can perhaps see my trepidation when it comes to this morning.
Two major indulgences and a road trip in the same week...

In Ottawa, at about 6:30 pm, just as I was hitting the road for home, I stopped in front of a Tommy Hilfiger store. I've been wearing the same two pairs of jeans since I started this campaign. And they are getting really baggy... my belt cinched all the way in doesn't keep my pants up... and as I have no future as a teen hip-hop dancer, I don't really want my pants half way down my thighs (or wherever people where them now)... so I went in to buy some jeans. It did not escape me that I was only willing to do this 400 kms away from home.
I hate trying on pants.
It makes me very insecure... in that change room the illusion that I am Cary Grant is replaced by the reality that I am Drew Cary...and I don't like it.
But, 400 kms away, maybe nobody will notice (we can talk about my narcissism later...)
I tried on 4 pairs on pants.
One pair was 2 inches smaller around the waist that my usual...
Two pairs were 4 inches...
One pair was 5..

I left the store with 2 pairs of pants - 5 inches less than my usual. (I went back and found another pair... I mean, who can live with one pair of jeans?)
That was cool.

I'm hoping that today feels that good...

We'll see

Crunch Time...

Well, the weigh in is just about 3 weeks away.
If I'm down 30 lbs, Jubilee United Church makes roughly $16,600 for it's programs.
So, I have motivation.
I have lost the weight - so there should be no drama. Except for a couple of things: 1. I've been weighing myself naked, and as I don't plan to weigh in naked at church on Sunday, October 31st (There's a Hallowe'en you won't forget!) - I need a couple three pounds beyond my goal to make it work. 2. Lately, I've been getting a bit lax... having made my goal, I've been a little bit too satisfied.
Too satisfied? A little lax? Let me explain:

I went to a new restaurant the other night and feasted on cured meats, cheese and two pastas... oh, yes and there was wine. In my glass... again and again.
I bought Purdy's Himalayan Pink Salt Caramels for my wife... but all she wants to do is smell them... it becomes my duty to eat them (just to be tidy). And I got Purdy's Himalayan Pink Salt Chocolate/Peanut Butter thingies, too... oh, and Sweet Georgia Browns (because they were there). Now, if my wife would do her duty and eat them - or some of them - I would be fine, but in a stunning display of non-support, she leaves them for me to eat. And then, a friend notes how good the salt caramels are with vintage Port... well, what could I do? Seriously, I ask you... wanting to honour my friendship and my marriage, I eat caramels and drink Port. (I'm not saying that I'm a hero - but I do make sacrifices for friendship and marriage).

But now it's time to bear down. I could always resort to the cabbage diet for the final week - that's good for 8 lbs - but I have avoided diets so far, just worked at smaller portions and better choices. I could find something to protest and go on a hunger strike - but there so many things making me crazy these days, that it's hard to choose. I could increase my bike time to 2 or 3 hours a day, or take my dog on 12 miles walks... but I don't think that Gladys the super dog is up for it.

So, all that I can think to do is to do what I've been doing... and keep my eye on the prize. Not the $16,000 (of which I get nothing! - shoulda had an agent!)- but the "less likely to have a heart attack, need knee replacements or snore himself into divorce before he's 60" guy that I'm meant to be.

My prayer for this month..
God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change the courage to change the one I can & the wisdom to know it's me

Myth Busting

As I travel and travail along this weight loss journey (to where? one wonders) - I have learned a few things and had a few myths and misconceptions shattered. I wish to take a few paragraphs to share some of those shattered myths... indulge me, if you will.

Myth 1. Nobody reads blogs.
Had you asked me a year ago, even a month ago, I would have spouted the conventional wisdom heard in bars and coffee shops; aboard trams and ferries; shouted from bridges and whispered feverishly in moments of passion - "Nobody wants to read your petty insights or participate in any way in the ephemera of your existence" (If spoken in feverish passion, one might add "Hubba hubba")
And yet... it's been six weeks since my last blog and I am constantly reminded of this fact by friends, colleagues, complete strangers and local politicians. (okay, the complete stranger part might be part of a dream.... I was naked, sitting in an undergrad Greek exam and talking to a dancing duck at the time). I am stunned how many people seem to be reading this blog.

Myth 2. The Whiskey diet works.
Please note, from the outset, that I have spelled Whiskey with an "e" - I'm Irish. I am not passing judgement on a Scotch Whisky diet. I was told by more than one friend that the Whiskey diet was good for a loss of at least 10 pounds. Simply trade wine for whiskey and watch the pounds melt away. I gave it try. I don't know about pounds, but I saw many evenings melt away...turned swiftly and painfully into mornings; had I maintained the diet, I am sure that I would have seen my marriage melt away and possibly my job and position in the community (which is up and over to the left). Although I tried it only for a short time, I found that the whiskey diet lead to fogginess, headaches and poor balance - it did not lead to weight loss. (note to self: maybe I should not have replaced my wine with whiskey ounce for ounce?)

Myth 3. Sitting on an Exercise Ball instead of a chair will assist weight loss.
I am told that sitting on one of those rubbber, air filled balls requires the use of more muscles, more often, than sitting in a conventional chair - leading to additional weight loss. Benefits include tighter abs, firmer buns and the illusion that you are living in a Dr. Suess book. I tried replacing my office chair at the church with a rubber ball... it was more than a little awkward to keep falling over when speaking with grieving parishioners or offering spiritual guidance to earnest seekers... and most people assumed that I was on the whiskey diet.

Myth 4. With a little will-power you can resist any temptation.
This is almost true... however, nobody can resist Himalayan Pink Salt Chocolate Caramels from Purdy's. I'm sorry - it can't be done. You might be able to resist the Sweet Georgia Browns (although, I can't imagine why you would)... but nobody living today or any day, can resist the Himalayan Pink Salt Chocolate Caramel. Don't even try...

Myth 5. When you lose weight, everybody will be impressed with the "New You"
I have, thus far, lost about 35 lbs. People tell me that they can see it in my face, they say that I look good... haberdashers eye me up and down knowing that I need new clothes (my pants are too baggy for hip-hop). I was beginning to think that things were going my way... and then last week, a woman stopped me in the local mall. This isn't new, as I am devastating attractive and have a certain savoir faire that makes the ladies swoon (wait, that might be part of my naked greek exam dream, too)... anyway, this woman stops me and asks, "Are you Rob Ford?"
Now, for those of you not local or contemporary to Sept 2010 Toronto - Rob Ford is running for Mayor of our fair city. Rob is a great big blond bully of a man, often appearing in caricatures as a pig.
I looked deeply into this woman's eyes hoping that my beard might set me apart from the big baby-faced Mr. Ford or that my charm might dissuade her or that I would, at least, see cataracts... but alas, all I saw was clarity of vision and sincerity of opinion. "No," said I, "I'm not Rob Ford"
"Are you sure? Because you look just like him... you could double for him in public appearances and nobody would know..."
As reassuring as it is that I can look forward to future employment as a body double for Rob Ford (and let's face it, if elected he's gonnna need a couple)... I did not take it as an affirmation or a vote of confidence. (I'm pretty sure that I've got a few more pounds than Joe Pantalone, but surely not Rob Ford!)


Myth 6. When you lose weight, you will feel better.
As noted above, I have lost 35 lbs and I still don't like the Harper government.

I trust that the shattering of these myths has not left you in pieces... but rather, a little wiser and more aware of the harsh realities of weight loss.

What NOT to eat

So, it's been over 2 weeks since me last post... and some folks have wondered if I've given up, if perhaps I'll be found face down in whipped cream, crumbs of short cake outlining my body as if in a crime scene... but I've simply been on vacation (another week to go, in fact) and I've also been plateauing.
I would say that I'm glad of the plateau - it's been three weeks with little change in weight, a pound up, a pound down...I would say that I'm happy because I was warned that if I lost too much weight too fast, I would run the risk of requiring a brassiere (it happens to large men)- and I've already got a restraining order barring me from La Senza... so it is perhaps best to slow down and allow my skin is shrink and tighten up to my slightly smaller body.
That's what I'm going with...

Then I begin to think of all the things that I have consumed in the past three weeks - which include
Peanut Butter Chocolate Raspberry French Toast
(so good....)
Steak Tartare
(twice...c'mon it was prepared by Master Chef and Chevalier Didier Leroy... it would be an insult to all of France to have resisted)
Frites...
(well, the steak tartare should always be accompanied by frites)
Mayonaisse...
(again, I was eating FRITES!)
A bag of dark chocolate covered blue berries
(think of the anti-oxidants!)
A medium bag of popcorn
(it was a movie!!)
6 sleeves of Wine Gums
(there was live theatre as well)
Fingerling Potato Chowder with Smoked Northern Pike and Sorrel; Cider-Glazed Perth County Pork Loin with herbed gnocchi, spring onion and asparagus ragout; A variety of local cheeses; Kir Royale; a bottle of Peter Huff Sparkling Wine (06); small glass of Armagnac
(hey, a guy's got to eat!)
Poutine
(Okay, I did it once... I had forgotten to eat all day when 3pm rolled around at the Harry Potter Exhibit and I was rather hungry... I shared a poutine with my wife... and couldn't eat again all day! The cheese curds just sat in my stomach and I couldn't even imagine eating... this might be the miracle diet the world is waiting for!)

So, I realize that the plateau might have more to do with some of my indulgences, rather than a subconscious campaign against man-boobs. But, before you condemn me, please consider everything that I did not eat in the past three weeks, including:

Home made fudge offered me by a friend
Countless pints of Guinness (I already had wine)
Cookies after church
Dessert after at least a dozen meals
A large box of Glossette Raisins (oh wait, I did eat those)
Cinnamon Buns made in my kitchen this morning
Poutine made by my son and his girlfriend in my kitchen last week
(I did not yet know about the "Miracle" Diet)
Fast Food (none... nada... zip...)
Eddie Izzard's Arm
(in fact, I have eaten no part of Eddie Izzard at all...)
Pop/Soda/Coke/Pepsi and the like (none... nada... zip....)
A whole spit roasted goat
A bathtub of tofu
Sour Cream
Dog Treats
(not one... my dog refuses to share now matter how much I beg... or roll over)
A whole box of Purdy's Sweet Georgia Browns (don't think I didn't consider it)
Any Dairy Queen Products
(even though Ice Milk sounds so much healthier than Ice Cream)
Any KFC product
('cause they ain't foolin' anybody!)


And so... I'm not sure what conclusions can be drawn, except that my weight drops slowly while my breasts do not... and I'm good with that for now.
In real terms, I've lost 31 pounds... as goes the contest, 23 lbs... 2 more and I'm in the money!! (I wonder what I'll to eat to celebrate!)

Silence is Golden...

I stopped snoring.

I know that doesn’t sound like much to you –
but it is very big to me (and to my wife).
I’m not a constant snorer but in the last year, it had become more frequent and it was devastating to me – causing my wife to lovingly flee our bedroom for quieter quarters. She claimed to not mind too much – but it was killing me. So after taking pills and putting strips across my nose to little avail, I was becoming depressed. Now, I find that my weight loss has finally silenced me...

Oh, and I can go longer than before...
longer without huffing, puffing and needing a rest.
I don’t need a nap when I’m done...
I can even bend down without strain, which is helpful, too.
All in all, my wife is very pleased, because now when I walk the dog, the dog comes home exhausted – not me. (You know that’s what I was talking about, right?)

The weight loss is showing real benefits and it continues to inspire me to try for more.

My knee (the one without the meniscus – thanks to arthroscopic surgery... originally I thought it was orthoscopic and they were going down through my mouth!)...
anyway, my knee doesn’t ache

The skin irritation on my calves that showed up from time to time, seems to be gone (or at least away for the summer)

I’m not hungry as often

Not eating out of boredom, I’m getting more done.

I’ve yet to discover the joys of tofu, but I am getting to enjoy all sorts of new beans and pods...

I do find that with the weight loss becoming evident in my face, I need to trim my beard more often... but I can live with that.

Now, my pants don’t fit... and I have no ass
(excuse me for being crude... if this offends you, assume that I lack an equine best suited for carrying cargo).
Back to my pants and lack of posterior definition... I’ve never had any luck – I’m a 48 old anglo-saxon – not a big surprise. I did notice in the paper the other day, that they are now selling bootie panties for women, with added padding so that even Olive Oyle can look like Beyoncé... I wonder if there’s a man’s product on the horizon?? It would solve both of my problems at once... just imagine!

Okay, don’t.

Let’s just go back to the fact that I’m no longer snoring and be happy with that.
I know that I am.

Stuck - Now What??

As a strategy game, I am told it's great.
In Nigeria, the state is awesome..
When Mordecai Richler sets stories within it's confines, it is incredible.
When you're living it... not so much.

I am speaking of the "Plateau"

I haven't posted in the last 9 days because, frankly, not much has happened. My weight loss as stalled... I have "plateaued".
It is to be expected (so I am told).
It will pass (so I'm told)
Things will begin to proceed soon (STOP telling me!)

I am sitting at 259 and have been so for more than a week. On one hand, I'm glad to be staying below 260 - especially with the steak tartare et frites,the four restaurant meals; the 13th St. Rosé,Tokaji, Red Breast Irish Whiskey (yes, real men spell whiskey with an "e"), the Huff Sparking Wine, Cahors, Fumé Blanc, Cremant de Bourgougne and Tequila Sunrise that somehow managed to find their way into my last 10 days. To be clear, I don't drink nearly as much as the preceding list implies - small pours, all of them... except those that were bottles... but shared!. Anyway, lots of summer celebratory behaviour leads me to be happy with maintaining my weight... but my general impatience is finding this all very frustrating.

I need to do something to kick the weight loss back into action. I could give up mayonnaise... but I don't really eat enough mayo that it would make much of a difference. I could stop giving into my insane craving for chocolate. (Yes, it's true I have the strangest craving for chocolate... I really fear that I'm about to turn into a 48 year old woman at any moment...). I have satisfied this craving by adding a handful of smarties to my large bag of nuts that I snack on twice a day. One handful of nuts and berries, twice a day - now with three or four Smarties included. I don't think cutting that out is going to make a difference.

What do I ingest in quantity that I could give up??

Hmmmm...

I thought about it; I tossed and turned... I consulted on-line psychics... I read my fortune with Old Maid Cards (gave my Tarot Cards to a local Jehovah`s Witness Fundraiser)
Finally, it hit me... it was so obvious, I don't know how I missed it.

I could give up wine.

Well, not all wine... perhaps I could give up Mexican Pinot Noir or almost anything from Australia! (not enough, eh?)

I could give up Burgundy... ouch!
I could give up Champagne... sacré bleu
I could give up Sparkling wine... fi
I could give up Burgungy... NEVER!
I could give up Malvoire, Norman Hardie, Fielding Estates, Hidden Bench, Huff, 13th Street... Get the behind me, Stan!!
(I don`t know who Stan is, but I suspect he`s a teatottler)

Given the enormity of this decision;
the importance of this decision
I have decided
to

re-dedicate myself to the gym.



I just couldn't find any single thing that I could change in consumption that would make a difference, so I need to increase my body's demand for calories.

More exercise.
Perfect!!


I should go right now...
off to the gym.
I have some time. My bag is packed, my Ipod loaded and my towel dry..

But suddenly, I realize that I should trim my beard.
Clean my desk
Arrange my shoes (see, I am turning into a 48 year old woman!)
Write a sermon
Call an old friend
Cut the grass
Watch 2001 and 2010 (I PVR'd them last week)
Play guitar
Play the flugelhorn
Take up the zither...

Yeah, I think I'll hit the gym tomorrow and see if that gets me off the plateau...
(although I will confess, that I'm getting to like the view...
and the food is great!)

Wish me luck
(or at least invite me to lunch)

The Lost Weekend

Okay, so I gained a couple of pounds.
It's really my first move back up the scale since I started 7 weeks ago.
I'm not beating myself up over it (flagellation leads to scars, which I'm pretty sure have weight... so, no severe beatings). It was just a weekend.. you know.. my personal Moriarty appeared in disguise and an old, old adversary came to town... Oh, and it was the World Cup.

Allow me to explain.
It's summer and I believe that the season should be celebrated, so out my sweetie and I went on Friday night - strolling by RubyWatchco, like we had a shot in hell at getting in for dinner. (but, I get points for the effort and the extra walk... and perhaps I can blame Lynn Crawford for what happened the rest of the night). I often can swing these things - get a table without a reservation - but alas, not that night. Instead we found ourselves at the always delightful Romagna Mia - marvelous Northern Italian cuisine, with a staff that is nothing short of delightful in their indifference. I have never experienced what a critic would call good service at RM - but I love every one of the wait staff. They treat you like family... and who dotes on family?? They point you to your table, they often describe wine incorrectly, bring you the wrong wine, even.. but it always turns out to be a good choice. Once a waiter insisted that a specific producer that I requested did not make the Prosecco that I desired - I was mistaken, I was confused, I was an idiot... (he didn't realize that I understand Italian). 20 minutes later, having found the Prosecco that I had requested, he went on to tell me that it was his very favourite Prosecco and one of the finest that could be found in Canada!! I love this place.
What does any of this have to do with my weight? Well, Northern Italian... I started with a cheese plate (Parmigiano-Reggiano w/ balsamic vinegar; Pecorino w/ chestnut honey; Gorgonzola w/ walnuts) and of course, Pasta... now, solo pasta - no seconde... gorgeous Tagliatelle alla Bolognese con Piselli Freschi, without a big red sauce, just a little tomato paste and fresh peas. Not much of a problem... but they also have gorgeous breads which they serve hot with Carli Olive Oil. Now, I have resisted nearly all bread since I began this journey... I turn away from fresh baguette, I eat whole grain wraps in stead of sandwich bread... I toast sprouted grains for breakfast... but they got me. I'm halfway through my second wonderfully warm piece before I realize it. And further, the delightfully unrushed pace means more time to drink. A bottle of Prosecco; Amarone with the Bolognese and for dessert, Grappa...

The next day included a wedding at which I was officiant... and so all of dinner was planned and largely prepared before I got home. My sons and their partners were about, so my wife planned grilled quesadilla on the BBQ. Great idea...easy to share, eat with your hands... beautiful chicken, refried beans, tomato, oninon, peppers, cheese... sour cream, salsa, guacamole... wait a minute!!! Regular readers of this blog may have already heard the ominous "Dunh, Dunh, Dah" playing the background. The melted cheese should have alerted me... The game's afoot!!! It was my personal Moriarty; my arch enemy - Nachos!!!!! Just folded over to fool me... and fool me he almost did.
I was tucking into my third... when I stopped!! Get thee behind me, SATAN! (not Santana, for him I want front row) I spat it from my lips... but I was slow and I know that the sour cream and melted cheese had found it's way into my stomach, into my heart... into my very soul.
Oh yes... and what Nachos didn't do, his girl friends, Marg and Rita did! No man is a match for those saucy ladies... Tequila and Lime described my evening.

I made a vow to do better the next day... World Cup Final Sunday.

For whom would I cheer? The Dutch - with all of that deep dried butter food?? The Spanish with fresh fish... but so many tiny tapas that I easily lose count and soon my waist begins to look like a Dali painting...
I thought to eschew them all and go with a simple feast of fresh raw vegetables.
BUT... but then, I got a migraine.
Now, if you don`t know about such things - you don`t know. Please don`t pretend... or try to imagine. I go blind. As a teenager, migraines could last for 2 and 3 days - now a day. As I felt my vision going and realized that I would have to be at work in the next hour or so (they expect the Minister to show up on Sundays - go figure), I realized that I would need to take my meds.
The big guns.
A pill that restores my sight, clears my head... and leaves me sweating like a race horse and feeling like I`ve been run over by self same nag.
But I can work.

I took the pill. I was restored... I went to work.
I crawled back home; lay down on the couch to watch the World Cup Final...
and then the munchies hit.
They always do after I take this pill... I have eaten two bags of Oreos, a box of Ritz Crackers and three bags of Doritos in a previous post migraine Feeding Frenzy. I wanted to hold off... I wanted to stay my hunger... but blood was in the water... and I was ravenous. I ate 1/2 a bag of Sour Cream and Bacon chips; 1/2 bag of Bridge Mix; an Ice Cream Bar (Maple, if you're counting); a chicken breast with the skin attached, a white bread roll... a small salad of tomato and cucumber (see, I tried)... Now it was a lot less than I would have devoured before... but far more junk than I have consumed in the past 7 weeks.
Oh... and 2 bottles of Crémant de Bourgogne (Champagne style sparkling wine from Burgundy). It would have been more; it would have been Champagne if Les Bleus or Cote d'Ivoire had won.

And so, today... Monday... my scale has slapped me for my lost weekend. I have gained three pounds..

c'est la vie... I need to let it go. My enemies got me, but they didn't hurt me as they have in the past... and I live to fight another day.

Grin and Bear it...

First, an update; then, what's really on my mind.
Update: Tough couple of days - Canada Day and we started the day with Canadian Sparkling Wine (Cuvée Catherine)and Chocolate Croissant - it's a tradition. It was gorgeous day to sit out and eat and drink Canada... Oka cheese, Strawberries, Scallops, Pork Loin, fresh Pickerel, greens from my backyard, glorious wines from Fielding Estates, Thirty Bench... and then roasting marshmallows in the backyard watching fireworks. Not good for weight loss... so I didn't look.
Friday - Toronto Fringe Festival - 4 plays, lots of walking... but also stopping for a glass of wine between plays, street meat for a quick lunch.. oh, and a pint of Guinness at 11am watching the World Cup (Ho, Ho, HOLY HOLLAND!!) Out for dinner... and I didn't want to weigh in at the end of that day. Sort of started to think that I'd probably put all of my lost weight back on... but fear not, gentle reader... I hit the scales today still below 260! So, I've lost about 24 pound real pounds or 21 according to the contest (remember, I lied at my weigh in, not wanting to admit that I weighed 283).
So, my sins were not so egregious... BUT they sure were fun! (Just want you wanted to hear from a preacher: The Joys of Sin)

Now, to what's really on my mind:

After what I thought was a hot date... teenage me, taking home teenage hottie, after a light dinner and great evening of theater (very sophisticated, me thinksed) heard these words - "Gee thanks, that was really neat, the sort of thing my mother would take me to"

At lunch not long ago... no where near teenage me, enjoying lunch with a hottie (probably out of my league, but I only play home games now, so who cares?), heard these words - "that's a really nice shirt... very LL Bean.. I buy those shirts for my Dad"

The girl and the woman who delivered these crushing blows, had no idea that they were dealing with a very fragile male ego. A male who looks in the mirror and does not see Winnie-the-Pooh with a beard, but sees Humphrey Bogart in "Casablanca", Cary Grant in "To Catch a Thief" and Roger Moore in "The Saint". In an instant that illusion is shattered... But I am a big boy, I pick myself up, focus my energies and reclaim my delusions! In both cases, I drove away very quickly, screeched into a bar and calmly ordered a vodka, martini, shaken not stirred.... and waited for the James Bond theme to start playing in my head again.

Currently, the one that gets me is.. "Oh, you look like you've lost weight, you must feel so much better...!" Words offered by kind, loving well-meaning folk... but words that strip away my fantasies of being a Millionaire Ninja, masquerading as a minister, and remind me that I am pretty much a regular guy who really needed (and needs) to lose weight. I'm not always as gracious as I might be when people say these things... but I am trying.
I am reminded of friend named David. I haven't seen David in over 20 years, but when I knew him, he weighed close to 400 lbs and then he lost over 180lbs. Everyone kept telling him how great he looked and how happy he must be to have lost all of that weight... After about 6 months of this, he began to intentionally put it back on again. He was so tired of people telling him how great he looked - he didn't like having his own view of himself corrected (or assaulted), so he put it back on again so that people would stop talking about him.
I'm not there... I'm happy when people say encouraging things and I wouldn't want people to feel that they couldn't say anything around me... but I am a little surprised how many people don't recognize me as Cary Grant's twin brother... and so, I have to work a little at being gracious and even harder at maintaining the illusion of being a young Robert Wagner - because clearly nobody is going to do it for me.

Post Week of Reek

Okay, so I don't smell (as much) any more.
I bought deodorant,but not that kind that makes my wife want to nestle into my arm pit (a friend recommended such a deodorant) - because, truthfully, I work with a great number of woman and if any of them were overcome and felt the need to nuzzle me, it would be awkward. (and probably actionable if there were pictures).
But, within a couple days of my purchase, my body chemistry seemed to change... and I'm not so bad anymore - but fear not, the deodorant will continue (at least until the humidity breaks).
So, the good news is that I weigh less than I have in about 8 years. I've lost at least about 20 lbs... and I am up for a recurring character on "Cougar Town", as another neurotic weight obsessed friend for Jules (I wonder, did she change her name hide from Chandler or the Law?) I really do have to find a way to not step on the scale four times a day.

My cravings have improved greatly, as witnessed on Thursday. That day, we finally managed a staff team lunch - the 5 of us in the same place at the same time without two of us having to handle a crisis or rush toward a deadline.
Bliss.
Out for lunch with 4 beautiful women (life is very good), and knowing that this was my significant meal for the day I dared Steak Frites and a glass of wine.
The steak was 6 oz; the wine was local... the frites were finished... the joy was mine.
As usual when we gather for lunch, the desire to have dessert was expressed... often a dessert or two is ordered and we share (egads, am I still a man?) A single dessert was ordered, but I didn't have any. More to the point, I didn't want any. Not even a taste...
That evening, I hosted a Rib BBQ for 100 people (did little work, just smiled as volunteers leapt to the fore). I'd had my lunch and had no desire to partake in the ribs, potato salad, green salad or cookies...
didn't have a can of pop...
I just drank water and prepared for my Definitely NOT Church gig that occasioned the BBQ. No hunger, no craving...
After it was all over: The BBQ, the music, stories and laughter... after the clean up was all but done, I was alone at 10:30 in an empty church getting ready to leave, when I found half a dozen Oreo cookies sitting alone on a table.
Sad, lonely cookies that I am sure were crying out "eat me, eat me".
But I didn't hear them.
I looked at them...
I like tidy; eating them would be more efficient than returning them to the kitchen way down the hall... in the past, I would have bought that logic; I would have heard the Oreo's siren call, and smashed them against my teeth (who said that I'd never use my degree in Classical Studies?)
But this time, I just looked at them and said "I don't want you".
That's a new thing for me...
Very new.
And it makes me happy.

However, there are always clouds no matter how sunny the sky. Last night, my brother-in-law took my wife and I out to dinner. It was decided that we should share an appetizer and enjoy the relaxed pace of a civilized meal. And so, a cheese dip was ordered. Cheese dip? How bad can that be?
It's a dip...
made of cheese...
with some cracker or vegetable to convey the dip into your mouth.
Sounded harmless to me...

Then it arrived...
it was not a harmless cheese dip,
but my mortal enemy Nachos,
deconstructed so as to get past security!!
Warm, runny cheese with jalapeno in a small vat, surrounded by crispy, salty tortilla chips!!
I tried to resist, but I could not. I tasted.
I ate.
I indulged.
I consumed.
I left very little for my companions... I failed to heed the warning "Loose lips eat chips!".
I hang my head in shame....
and I refuse to get on the scale today, because I have no doubt that my nacho nemesis has hidden 10 lbs of contraband on my body.

I say this to my arch enemy: "It won't be so easy to fool me next time, I am getting to know your wily ways and clever disguises.... do not ask for whom the Taco Bell tolls, it tolls for thee!" (who knew Donne battled nachos, as well?)

Egad, I smell!!

Okay, so here's something that you didn't want to know: I don't use deodorant. Almost never have - don't believe in antiperspirant and don't like deodorant... to my good fortune and those close to me, I generally don't smell. I perspire... freely and happily, but with a few exceptions, I have never really smelled "sweaty".
Clean Living?
Good Fortune?
In need of a Reality Check?

It's not something that I can explain... maybe I was just born close to a crystal mine, (you know, the kind of crystal that people rub on their arm pits and then pretend that others aren't repulsed by their fetidity...) - Maybe it's a special gift, like speaking in tongues, except that it's smelling in noses... I smell, but you need the gift of interpreting smell to recognize that I reek?
I do know that it has not been a dillusion on my part... and my proof is that now, I smell!!!
The other day, I was sitting at my desk wondering about the pungent unpleasantness that had creeped into my office... hoping that it was a gift of Epoisses from an itinerant cheese-monger, I went it search of a chilled Chablis... only to discover that the smell was following me!!
Worse... it WAS me!
The next day, I stepped closer to the shower... stayed in longer... ran the water hotter... tried using soap!!
But by mid-day, I was once again a crass fromagerie...
16 pounds down and my Yogi tells me that I'm detoxing... (And yes, My Yogi did tell me this over apicnic basket... well, at lunch... but, she did call me Boo-Boo)

So, loosing weight means stinking! Go figure.
I am assured that it won't always be this way, but how will I know? Will I get over it or just get used to it? I don't want to be known as Rev. Stinky.
Ah, the trials of trying to lose a few pounds!!!

But there are good changes, too... snoring has abated! (my wife is pleased)
My face is thinner...
My pants are looser...
And I'm going into a Canadian Summer with Irish Spring...
(you can thank me when you see me)

I have a dream...

Okay, so it's little bit dramatic to start off a blog with the words "I have a dream...", especially when you are pursuing something as selfish as weight loss. I don't mean selfish in a bad way, but one wants to be careful about using Dr. King's words, when such words have been spent to powerfully and graciously decades before I decided to use them.
But I do have a dream.
Small as it may be.
I dream of crossing my legs.
(never mind the Alma Maria Mahler-Werfel jokes...)*
I dream of sitting in chair, leaning back and crossing my legs the way James Taylor does when he plays guitar; the way the Alan Alda does when his is interviewed; the way that every guest on the Mike Douglas show once did (I have now revealed my age and the fact that I skipped a lot of school to watch daytime TV as a child).
Not the ankle to knee cross, the one disparaged on the Friends episode with Phoebe's shorts-wearing boyfriend (see, a more current TV reference... I'm getting younger and hipper by the second.. I'll try to throw in a Gossip Girl reference before I'm done)
No, I'm talking about the crossing your legs, thigh over thigh... I've never really been able to do it. Now, part of the problem is that I have remarkably short femurs - my wife laughs at me often (could be worse). So, I may never get to cross my legs in such a manner; I may have to John Wayne my way through life kicking my foot up ever time I want to cross my legs... but I keep trying.
As I lose my weight, every night I sit down and try to cross my legs - I'm hoping that if my body knows of my ambition, it just might co-operate and get rid of some of my belly, allowing me "the dream"
So, far... no luck.
But I'm hopeful, and still 15 pounds down.
Who knows, one of these days you just might see me sitting with my legs crossed strumming guitar and singing "Fire and Rain"... hard for you, but great for me!


*Hey, I could have said Paris Hilton, but it wouldn't have sent you to Wikipedia

Lose Lips Eat Chips

So here it is, more than two, almost three weeks. I am officially down 12 lbs... although, because I lied and rounded down my weigh in from 283 to 280, I've actually lost 15 lbs. A lot of water weight... and I've always been told that the first 10 lbs are the easiest. So, so much for easy.
Here's the good news.. my wedding ring slips on and off my finger easily
(not that I have occasion to slip in on and off... let's not start rumours)
My belt is in a notch at least..
I no longer bleed gravy when I cut myself.

I'm learning more and more little things... I don't have to eat all of my rice, potatoes or stuff when I order a meal in a restaurant. If I focus on the protein, I don't really need much filler. Also, my larger meal tends to be at lunch...

My brain is starting to be happy with smaller meals.

ZONE bars stored in my desk, mean that I don't have to rush out for a massive carb meal if I'm working long or through meals.

I've been drinking lots of water, so I also find that one glass of wine lasts a lot longer because I am drinking it for taste, not thirst.

My exercise level is not where it should be or where I want it, but my days get so full and it's hard to find time. But even unforeseen events fill my schedule to bursting and I can't find time to exercise, I can still control what and how I eat. AND I DO EAT...

But, I have figured out that "Too much of a good thing... isn't good"
I had a small party for a musical group that I work... pizza/pop kind of gathering. It would rude to not participate in the eating (and I am never rude!!) - but one small slice of pizza (okay, medium slice) was more than enough for me. I'm rather stunned by this - but it is starting to make sense.

Also - "Loose Lips Eat Chips"... I have to avoid them, or keep my mouth shut around them, because fried salty thing just want to jump in my mouth. But knowing that... I do keep my lips closed. So, if you ever want me to shut up (and most people do...) bring out the Lays... and I'm shut up.
(or I may jump up and down on your bag of chips...)

So, onward and downward I go...

Sacre Bleu!

So, I thought things were going swimmingly... the scale was dropping and dropping and I really wasn't going crazy. Riding the bike is fun, the gym has been bad and my improved eating habits haven't really been the trial I thought.
Until yesterday.
According to the scale, I'm up 4 lbs!!
Now, I don't believe in being a scale watcher... but as this is my 5 month task, it's hard not to. That, and the fact that my new scale sits in front of my closet inviting me to step on it's shiny face a couple of times a day.
I went out for formal dining and seemed to survive the other night.. I was good the next day... until I was betrayed by: Tiny Rice Cakes and 1 - count 'em one - social tea cookie. Salt and white sugar... I'm beginning to think that they are out to get me. From here on in, I will watch carefully.... I may carry a whistle, just for the effect.
On Thursday, I spent the day at my son's graduation... good breakfast, coffee on the drive to Peterborough (hmmmm). Salmon, beets and rice at lunch (no bread, no dessert)... and then at the reception (a mere 4 hours later) I had apple slices to the effect of 1/2 an apple. Now, I know that was lots of sugar - the apple, the beets and wine that I didn't tell you about. But I was still feeling pretty good about things... until we took our son to a local pub.
Sure, I had a pint of Guinness.. but I thought that would be it. There was nothing edible on the menu... but there were nachos on the table. I didn't think that I was hungry, but I suddenly found myself stuffing myself with these salty diet killers!!

So, I deserve the extra pounds... I know.
But I have learned a couple of things
1. I should try to time my eating, so that I won't be surprised by my hunger.
2. Stay away from Salt and white sugar
3. The scales will go up and down all the time... best to avoid it!

By the way, found a blog by a group of women who are trying to lose weight (the equivalent of a Backstreet Boy) without giving up wine! I love these woman.
http://elevenpoints.blogspot.com/

That's it for now...
Hey, just checked the scale - back down another pound and a half! (guess I didn't learn as much as I hoped)

It's coming off...

So the journey continues. According to the scale I am 9 lbs lighter than when I started. Gee, at this rate, I'll be done before July 1st! Of course, I know that I have dropped easy water weight and from here on in it will get slower... but will it get harder?
So far, I'm not finding the dieting and exercise horrifically tough. I have discovered the following:
1. At pubs you can order a big bottle of sparkling water (San Pelligrino, Perrier, et.al) and some carrots and celery. And it really is just a much fun as a pint of Guinness and something deep fried. The waitress just assumed that I'm a sober alcoholic and smiled at me sweetly. Also - total bar tap was under $10!!
2. Fast food is always a problem... even when it's healthy, because you eat it so fast. Slower eating means I eat less and enjoy it more.
3. I can go out to a formal dinner at a restaurant and survive quite well.. I ate appetizers (shredded lamb on polenta - amazing!), a pasta and a main. Now, this would never be advised for a serious "dieter" but I don't want to be a dieter, I just want to eat better. So, I skipped the bread; I had Espresso instead of dessert (I am immune to caffeine... and I can fly!); I had 8 ozs of beef with frites on the side. I ate much of my beef but did not feel compelled to eat beyond feeling satisfied and full; and I chose the frites over the rich, rich potatoes... because I could enjoy them by eating a few of them, sharing some and sending the rest back.
Make no mistake - I'm not advocating the wasting of food, but if I try to eat only as much as I need to feel satiated, I will learn how to order food for that level and my wasting of food should diminish. But first, I need to get out of the habit of devouring everything on my plate like it's my job!
4. I also learned that Fort Livingstone, Sask. was once the capital of the Norhtwest Territories. Nothing to do with weight loss, but I did learn it today.

So, I am progressing... and managing.
My prayer: God... thanks. Amen

It's been one week

So, I'm a week in.
Officially, I've lost a pound - but the scale actually says that I've lost six. Could be water weight, could just be vagaries of the scale, I'll see what it's saying in another week before I take it seriously.
I am finding already that I am satisfied with much smaller meals. Last night, a Greek salad (village style) and three medallions of pork loin was more than enough for a meal.
I am learning to not let myself get hungry... small intelligent snacks are good. I find those little Kashi bars are good at work. One at lunch with some yogurt, another at 3... much better than running out for a sandwich.
I confirm that breakfast is really important. 1 or 2 pieces of sprouted grains toast with organic peanut butter and green tea... 1 piece of toast with peanut butter and some yogurt with soluble fiber stirred in and I'm good for the morning.
I am still struggling with wine... I had too much this week (for dietary reasons, not propriety). It's just so easy to open a bottle, sit out back and talk with my sweetie (who is, coincidentally, my wife)
And I didn't get enough time on the bike... they gym was good, but not as long as I would have liked.... So, I'll put last week behind me and work on this week.
My crabbiness is also abating... I don't want to smack children with red licorice... but I do want to steal it from them.
In the interests of full disclosure, I will confess that I was unwise last night... I sat around an open fire with my wife... in our backyard... with a couple of ounces of Irish Whisky in a glass and a marshmallow on a stick. I toasted and ate four. Not a bag.. just four...over a 90 minute period... and it was heaven!

Not as easy as I had hoped...

It's still early.
It's only been 4 days.
I'm stunned to discover that I haven't last 10 lbs already.
(well,not really... but you sort of dream, you know?)
Thus far, I've been cutting back, but in four days, I have had a Holiday (hard not to eat/drink to excess), a very busy schedule with the church (hard to eat slowly and regularly), lunch at a parishoner's home (hard to say no to dessert or a glass of wine)
But I'm trying.
I've been taking soluble fiber to even out the sugar cravings and create the feeling of "fullness"..
I've been riding my bike
And I've wanted to smack small children eating red licorice!
I love red licorice and I truly resent people eating it around me...
So, I guess I would have to say that thus far, I am managing (somewhat) and becoming crabby (somewhat). I am hoping for a slight mood alteration... I'm generally okay with crabby, but I'm pretty sure that if I go around smacking kids and taking their licorice it will make the papers - and not in a good way.

My Prayer today... God, help me keep my hands to myself. Not reaching out for a cookie, or an extra sandwich and especially not to smack candy eating children. Help me grow up,even as I try to grow down. Amen

How are you going to do it??

Everybody wants to know how I'm going to lose this weight. They all have wonderful diets to recommend and plans to follow: South Beach, Cabbage Diet, Jenny Craig, Remove all Fruits and Roots (basically cut out sugar), eat nothing squishy or white (I'm not an cannibal!), go vegetarian, eat only meat, cut out butter, eat only butter (okay, I made that one up). On the weekend, I mentioned that I ate Lasagne... how could I not? As also mentioned, my wife makes a lasagne that makes old Italian men go home and slap their mothers... but with dinner on Sunday, left overs for lunch and dinner on Monday, I ate as much lasagne in three meals as I would normally eat at one dinner. Not great... but it's a start. You see, I don't want a diet... I want a change that will continue after I've lost the 30 lbs. So, I'm eating less and exercising more.
Here a few things that I will be doing:
No eating in front of the TV
Including more soluble fiber in my diet (supplements may be required)
Always eat breakfast
Increase my water consumption
Exercise for at least 30 minutes everyday
Exercise for more than an hour at least 3 times a week
Sleep at least 7 hours a night
Eat small portions slowly
No more than 8 glasses of wine a week (no hold overs)
Never allow myself to stay hungry
Walk around the block to my car (I could park a couple of blocks away from the church, but people like to see my car and know that I'm in...)

My other thought is to try Pray the weight away. I'll call it the Prayer Diet... every time I'm hungry, I'll just pray until the feeling goes away.
Hey, Luther had his Diet of Worms... although I don't think it had much to do with weight loss, as he died very overweight. (look it up)

My prayer... God, if you can do this for me - do it. If you're not prepared to do it for me, inspire me to do it myself. Keep me laughing and help me let go of my self even as I let go of the pounds. Amen

Day 1 (after the weigh in, that is)

So, last night the lasagne was brilliant... but I had a small portion. I did have a two glasses of '99 Amarone Classico (Masi) and some raw vegetables. Not great - but not egrigious. This morning I'm up bright and early, green tea, organic peanut butter on sprouted grains toast and 30 minutes on the exercise bike (10 miles it says.. not a bad speed, I suppose). Soon, the dog gets walked and there will be a little left over lasagne for lunch or dinner...
I have been warned off all dairy, especially cheese, by wise kind friends, but at this point I'm not willing to leave cheese alone. I am trying for a life-style modification more than a diet... and with my great affection for French and Italian cuisines, I am going to eat cheese at some point. I don't have to eat much and I don't have to do it too often - but I simply can't swear it off. (yes this lasagne has cheese - provolone, ricotta, cheddar, mozzarella, parmesan... but this dish is a very special and rare treat in my house).
I have also found from experience that I go into something intensely for a month, but will give it up after 6 weeks... so, I don't want this to be intense, but lasting. So, I'm easing into it.... (at least, I sincerely hope so)
Prayer?
God, let me focus on today... yesterday is done and tomorrow will come when it comes... today, I can balance my life. Amen (oh, and a Habs victory would be nice, too!)

It has begun!

So, it's official. I start at 280lbs... That was one of the hardest things that I've done in a long, long time - so weigh myself and announce the numbers to a Sunday morning congregation. I love my congregation and they love me... but it's tough. I remember going to the Grand Canyon 14 or 15 years ago and not being allowed to ride their horses or donkeys because I was over the weight limit. Being a very competent rider made it even more humiliating because the more that I wanted to talk them into it, the more I sounded like the fat guy at the buffet trying to convince the management that "all you can eat" is a guaranteed right. The next day, I approached a guide about riding one of his horses out into the desert and he happily complied. I asked him if he was concerned about my weight on his horse and he said, "No way - I've seen the way you sit a horse and you remind me of the Duke. I used to train John Wayne's horses for movies and as big as he was, nobody sat a horse better than him.... you sit just like him." His name was Bill Jones and he made my day... heck, I'm retelling the story 14 years later! He reminded me that riding a horse is not about weight... and most of the time what I do has nothing to do with weight... I preach, I teach, I listen, I sing, I play music, I create, I pastor, I parent, I taste, I write... I love, I laugh, I play... none of those things really has anything to do with my weight. But standing on the scale today, in front of everybody... I felt like my weight was all that mattered. And that sucks!
No matter I do in life - I do not want to be defined by any physical feature or any single aspect of myself... and especially not my weight. So, even as I go forward with this project and this blog, I want to remember that... and not be defined by my weight or by my weight loss.
After all - I sit a horse just like John Wayne!
(who actually was not a great rider... but you couldn't knock him off!)
My prayer: God, let me remember how you see me... multi-faceted, lovable and capable and let me not forget my many facets, even as I work on one. Amen

Today is the day...

So, it's 6:50 Sunday Morning on the day of my weigh-in. I'd thought of stuffing myself for breakfast just to add a pound to the weigh in, figuring that I would lose first pound so easily... but having weighed myself already and realizing that I weigh so much than I thought, I'm not willing to add any extra pounds. If it wouldn't forever change my relationship with my congregation (and not in a good way), I'd do the weigh in naked, just to get the starting number down.
Of course, we are celebrating my eldest son's birthday tonight and his only request is that his mother make Lasagne. My wife makes a lasagne that people travel from foreign countries to experience... old Italian men curse their mother's cooking upon tasting my wife's lasagne (a small exaggeration, perhaps). The investment in cheese and meat is not small... and it's one of the my favourite experiences in all the world. I have stood on the edge of the Grand Canyon, walked the Labyrinth in Chartres, seen the descending angels at the Cathedral in Bath... none compares with sitting down to my wife's lasagne.
Spider Robinson noted that "God is an iron".
If a burglar commits burglary and an adulterer, adultery... than God is an iron.

It must be almost time, I'm getting romantic and obsessing on food.
Enough of this!... I will eat Lasagne tonight, I just won't eat as much - I will have on glass of wine with dinner, not two or three... and I will take my dog for a 12 mile walk before and after dinner (a small exaggeration, perhaps)

My prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the portions I can enjoy, the courage to stay away "too much", and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen
(with apologies to Bill W. and friends)

I start in 2 days...

So, it's Friday and I've just bought the scale for my weigh in on Sunday.
I don't weigh myself. Even when I was a healthy weight I didn't care to weigh myself. But I've got about $380/lb in sponsorship right now, so I need to weigh in.
In front of my congregation. I am feeling a little vulnerable about that... (it's not an accident that I picked a Holiday Weekend).
So, I've got two days... part of me doesn't want to being exercising or cutting back on food because I don't want to lose any weight for free... but I just weighed myself on the new scale and I'm 15 lbs heavier than I thought.
I am not happy....
But I will be.
I know that I can do this... and with some prayer, some focus, a few life style changes, and a minor miracle, I can do this.
My prayer: C'mon God... I don't need the stilling of a storm or the parting of a sea... just make pasta a negative calorie option and turn my wine into water immediately after I drink it.. PLEASE... Amen