Post Week of Reek

Okay, so I don't smell (as much) any more.
I bought deodorant,but not that kind that makes my wife want to nestle into my arm pit (a friend recommended such a deodorant) - because, truthfully, I work with a great number of woman and if any of them were overcome and felt the need to nuzzle me, it would be awkward. (and probably actionable if there were pictures).
But, within a couple days of my purchase, my body chemistry seemed to change... and I'm not so bad anymore - but fear not, the deodorant will continue (at least until the humidity breaks).
So, the good news is that I weigh less than I have in about 8 years. I've lost at least about 20 lbs... and I am up for a recurring character on "Cougar Town", as another neurotic weight obsessed friend for Jules (I wonder, did she change her name hide from Chandler or the Law?) I really do have to find a way to not step on the scale four times a day.

My cravings have improved greatly, as witnessed on Thursday. That day, we finally managed a staff team lunch - the 5 of us in the same place at the same time without two of us having to handle a crisis or rush toward a deadline.
Bliss.
Out for lunch with 4 beautiful women (life is very good), and knowing that this was my significant meal for the day I dared Steak Frites and a glass of wine.
The steak was 6 oz; the wine was local... the frites were finished... the joy was mine.
As usual when we gather for lunch, the desire to have dessert was expressed... often a dessert or two is ordered and we share (egads, am I still a man?) A single dessert was ordered, but I didn't have any. More to the point, I didn't want any. Not even a taste...
That evening, I hosted a Rib BBQ for 100 people (did little work, just smiled as volunteers leapt to the fore). I'd had my lunch and had no desire to partake in the ribs, potato salad, green salad or cookies...
didn't have a can of pop...
I just drank water and prepared for my Definitely NOT Church gig that occasioned the BBQ. No hunger, no craving...
After it was all over: The BBQ, the music, stories and laughter... after the clean up was all but done, I was alone at 10:30 in an empty church getting ready to leave, when I found half a dozen Oreo cookies sitting alone on a table.
Sad, lonely cookies that I am sure were crying out "eat me, eat me".
But I didn't hear them.
I looked at them...
I like tidy; eating them would be more efficient than returning them to the kitchen way down the hall... in the past, I would have bought that logic; I would have heard the Oreo's siren call, and smashed them against my teeth (who said that I'd never use my degree in Classical Studies?)
But this time, I just looked at them and said "I don't want you".
That's a new thing for me...
Very new.
And it makes me happy.

However, there are always clouds no matter how sunny the sky. Last night, my brother-in-law took my wife and I out to dinner. It was decided that we should share an appetizer and enjoy the relaxed pace of a civilized meal. And so, a cheese dip was ordered. Cheese dip? How bad can that be?
It's a dip...
made of cheese...
with some cracker or vegetable to convey the dip into your mouth.
Sounded harmless to me...

Then it arrived...
it was not a harmless cheese dip,
but my mortal enemy Nachos,
deconstructed so as to get past security!!
Warm, runny cheese with jalapeno in a small vat, surrounded by crispy, salty tortilla chips!!
I tried to resist, but I could not. I tasted.
I ate.
I indulged.
I consumed.
I left very little for my companions... I failed to heed the warning "Loose lips eat chips!".
I hang my head in shame....
and I refuse to get on the scale today, because I have no doubt that my nacho nemesis has hidden 10 lbs of contraband on my body.

I say this to my arch enemy: "It won't be so easy to fool me next time, I am getting to know your wily ways and clever disguises.... do not ask for whom the Taco Bell tolls, it tolls for thee!" (who knew Donne battled nachos, as well?)