Post Week of Reek

Okay, so I don't smell (as much) any more.
I bought deodorant,but not that kind that makes my wife want to nestle into my arm pit (a friend recommended such a deodorant) - because, truthfully, I work with a great number of woman and if any of them were overcome and felt the need to nuzzle me, it would be awkward. (and probably actionable if there were pictures).
But, within a couple days of my purchase, my body chemistry seemed to change... and I'm not so bad anymore - but fear not, the deodorant will continue (at least until the humidity breaks).
So, the good news is that I weigh less than I have in about 8 years. I've lost at least about 20 lbs... and I am up for a recurring character on "Cougar Town", as another neurotic weight obsessed friend for Jules (I wonder, did she change her name hide from Chandler or the Law?) I really do have to find a way to not step on the scale four times a day.

My cravings have improved greatly, as witnessed on Thursday. That day, we finally managed a staff team lunch - the 5 of us in the same place at the same time without two of us having to handle a crisis or rush toward a deadline.
Bliss.
Out for lunch with 4 beautiful women (life is very good), and knowing that this was my significant meal for the day I dared Steak Frites and a glass of wine.
The steak was 6 oz; the wine was local... the frites were finished... the joy was mine.
As usual when we gather for lunch, the desire to have dessert was expressed... often a dessert or two is ordered and we share (egads, am I still a man?) A single dessert was ordered, but I didn't have any. More to the point, I didn't want any. Not even a taste...
That evening, I hosted a Rib BBQ for 100 people (did little work, just smiled as volunteers leapt to the fore). I'd had my lunch and had no desire to partake in the ribs, potato salad, green salad or cookies...
didn't have a can of pop...
I just drank water and prepared for my Definitely NOT Church gig that occasioned the BBQ. No hunger, no craving...
After it was all over: The BBQ, the music, stories and laughter... after the clean up was all but done, I was alone at 10:30 in an empty church getting ready to leave, when I found half a dozen Oreo cookies sitting alone on a table.
Sad, lonely cookies that I am sure were crying out "eat me, eat me".
But I didn't hear them.
I looked at them...
I like tidy; eating them would be more efficient than returning them to the kitchen way down the hall... in the past, I would have bought that logic; I would have heard the Oreo's siren call, and smashed them against my teeth (who said that I'd never use my degree in Classical Studies?)
But this time, I just looked at them and said "I don't want you".
That's a new thing for me...
Very new.
And it makes me happy.

However, there are always clouds no matter how sunny the sky. Last night, my brother-in-law took my wife and I out to dinner. It was decided that we should share an appetizer and enjoy the relaxed pace of a civilized meal. And so, a cheese dip was ordered. Cheese dip? How bad can that be?
It's a dip...
made of cheese...
with some cracker or vegetable to convey the dip into your mouth.
Sounded harmless to me...

Then it arrived...
it was not a harmless cheese dip,
but my mortal enemy Nachos,
deconstructed so as to get past security!!
Warm, runny cheese with jalapeno in a small vat, surrounded by crispy, salty tortilla chips!!
I tried to resist, but I could not. I tasted.
I ate.
I indulged.
I consumed.
I left very little for my companions... I failed to heed the warning "Loose lips eat chips!".
I hang my head in shame....
and I refuse to get on the scale today, because I have no doubt that my nacho nemesis has hidden 10 lbs of contraband on my body.

I say this to my arch enemy: "It won't be so easy to fool me next time, I am getting to know your wily ways and clever disguises.... do not ask for whom the Taco Bell tolls, it tolls for thee!" (who knew Donne battled nachos, as well?)

Egad, I smell!!

Okay, so here's something that you didn't want to know: I don't use deodorant. Almost never have - don't believe in antiperspirant and don't like deodorant... to my good fortune and those close to me, I generally don't smell. I perspire... freely and happily, but with a few exceptions, I have never really smelled "sweaty".
Clean Living?
Good Fortune?
In need of a Reality Check?

It's not something that I can explain... maybe I was just born close to a crystal mine, (you know, the kind of crystal that people rub on their arm pits and then pretend that others aren't repulsed by their fetidity...) - Maybe it's a special gift, like speaking in tongues, except that it's smelling in noses... I smell, but you need the gift of interpreting smell to recognize that I reek?
I do know that it has not been a dillusion on my part... and my proof is that now, I smell!!!
The other day, I was sitting at my desk wondering about the pungent unpleasantness that had creeped into my office... hoping that it was a gift of Epoisses from an itinerant cheese-monger, I went it search of a chilled Chablis... only to discover that the smell was following me!!
Worse... it WAS me!
The next day, I stepped closer to the shower... stayed in longer... ran the water hotter... tried using soap!!
But by mid-day, I was once again a crass fromagerie...
16 pounds down and my Yogi tells me that I'm detoxing... (And yes, My Yogi did tell me this over apicnic basket... well, at lunch... but, she did call me Boo-Boo)

So, loosing weight means stinking! Go figure.
I am assured that it won't always be this way, but how will I know? Will I get over it or just get used to it? I don't want to be known as Rev. Stinky.
Ah, the trials of trying to lose a few pounds!!!

But there are good changes, too... snoring has abated! (my wife is pleased)
My face is thinner...
My pants are looser...
And I'm going into a Canadian Summer with Irish Spring...
(you can thank me when you see me)

I have a dream...

Okay, so it's little bit dramatic to start off a blog with the words "I have a dream...", especially when you are pursuing something as selfish as weight loss. I don't mean selfish in a bad way, but one wants to be careful about using Dr. King's words, when such words have been spent to powerfully and graciously decades before I decided to use them.
But I do have a dream.
Small as it may be.
I dream of crossing my legs.
(never mind the Alma Maria Mahler-Werfel jokes...)*
I dream of sitting in chair, leaning back and crossing my legs the way James Taylor does when he plays guitar; the way the Alan Alda does when his is interviewed; the way that every guest on the Mike Douglas show once did (I have now revealed my age and the fact that I skipped a lot of school to watch daytime TV as a child).
Not the ankle to knee cross, the one disparaged on the Friends episode with Phoebe's shorts-wearing boyfriend (see, a more current TV reference... I'm getting younger and hipper by the second.. I'll try to throw in a Gossip Girl reference before I'm done)
No, I'm talking about the crossing your legs, thigh over thigh... I've never really been able to do it. Now, part of the problem is that I have remarkably short femurs - my wife laughs at me often (could be worse). So, I may never get to cross my legs in such a manner; I may have to John Wayne my way through life kicking my foot up ever time I want to cross my legs... but I keep trying.
As I lose my weight, every night I sit down and try to cross my legs - I'm hoping that if my body knows of my ambition, it just might co-operate and get rid of some of my belly, allowing me "the dream"
So, far... no luck.
But I'm hopeful, and still 15 pounds down.
Who knows, one of these days you just might see me sitting with my legs crossed strumming guitar and singing "Fire and Rain"... hard for you, but great for me!


*Hey, I could have said Paris Hilton, but it wouldn't have sent you to Wikipedia

Lose Lips Eat Chips

So here it is, more than two, almost three weeks. I am officially down 12 lbs... although, because I lied and rounded down my weigh in from 283 to 280, I've actually lost 15 lbs. A lot of water weight... and I've always been told that the first 10 lbs are the easiest. So, so much for easy.
Here's the good news.. my wedding ring slips on and off my finger easily
(not that I have occasion to slip in on and off... let's not start rumours)
My belt is in a notch at least..
I no longer bleed gravy when I cut myself.

I'm learning more and more little things... I don't have to eat all of my rice, potatoes or stuff when I order a meal in a restaurant. If I focus on the protein, I don't really need much filler. Also, my larger meal tends to be at lunch...

My brain is starting to be happy with smaller meals.

ZONE bars stored in my desk, mean that I don't have to rush out for a massive carb meal if I'm working long or through meals.

I've been drinking lots of water, so I also find that one glass of wine lasts a lot longer because I am drinking it for taste, not thirst.

My exercise level is not where it should be or where I want it, but my days get so full and it's hard to find time. But even unforeseen events fill my schedule to bursting and I can't find time to exercise, I can still control what and how I eat. AND I DO EAT...

But, I have figured out that "Too much of a good thing... isn't good"
I had a small party for a musical group that I work... pizza/pop kind of gathering. It would rude to not participate in the eating (and I am never rude!!) - but one small slice of pizza (okay, medium slice) was more than enough for me. I'm rather stunned by this - but it is starting to make sense.

Also - "Loose Lips Eat Chips"... I have to avoid them, or keep my mouth shut around them, because fried salty thing just want to jump in my mouth. But knowing that... I do keep my lips closed. So, if you ever want me to shut up (and most people do...) bring out the Lays... and I'm shut up.
(or I may jump up and down on your bag of chips...)

So, onward and downward I go...

Sacre Bleu!

So, I thought things were going swimmingly... the scale was dropping and dropping and I really wasn't going crazy. Riding the bike is fun, the gym has been bad and my improved eating habits haven't really been the trial I thought.
Until yesterday.
According to the scale, I'm up 4 lbs!!
Now, I don't believe in being a scale watcher... but as this is my 5 month task, it's hard not to. That, and the fact that my new scale sits in front of my closet inviting me to step on it's shiny face a couple of times a day.
I went out for formal dining and seemed to survive the other night.. I was good the next day... until I was betrayed by: Tiny Rice Cakes and 1 - count 'em one - social tea cookie. Salt and white sugar... I'm beginning to think that they are out to get me. From here on in, I will watch carefully.... I may carry a whistle, just for the effect.
On Thursday, I spent the day at my son's graduation... good breakfast, coffee on the drive to Peterborough (hmmmm). Salmon, beets and rice at lunch (no bread, no dessert)... and then at the reception (a mere 4 hours later) I had apple slices to the effect of 1/2 an apple. Now, I know that was lots of sugar - the apple, the beets and wine that I didn't tell you about. But I was still feeling pretty good about things... until we took our son to a local pub.
Sure, I had a pint of Guinness.. but I thought that would be it. There was nothing edible on the menu... but there were nachos on the table. I didn't think that I was hungry, but I suddenly found myself stuffing myself with these salty diet killers!!

So, I deserve the extra pounds... I know.
But I have learned a couple of things
1. I should try to time my eating, so that I won't be surprised by my hunger.
2. Stay away from Salt and white sugar
3. The scales will go up and down all the time... best to avoid it!

By the way, found a blog by a group of women who are trying to lose weight (the equivalent of a Backstreet Boy) without giving up wine! I love these woman.
http://elevenpoints.blogspot.com/

That's it for now...
Hey, just checked the scale - back down another pound and a half! (guess I didn't learn as much as I hoped)

It's coming off...

So the journey continues. According to the scale I am 9 lbs lighter than when I started. Gee, at this rate, I'll be done before July 1st! Of course, I know that I have dropped easy water weight and from here on in it will get slower... but will it get harder?
So far, I'm not finding the dieting and exercise horrifically tough. I have discovered the following:
1. At pubs you can order a big bottle of sparkling water (San Pelligrino, Perrier, et.al) and some carrots and celery. And it really is just a much fun as a pint of Guinness and something deep fried. The waitress just assumed that I'm a sober alcoholic and smiled at me sweetly. Also - total bar tap was under $10!!
2. Fast food is always a problem... even when it's healthy, because you eat it so fast. Slower eating means I eat less and enjoy it more.
3. I can go out to a formal dinner at a restaurant and survive quite well.. I ate appetizers (shredded lamb on polenta - amazing!), a pasta and a main. Now, this would never be advised for a serious "dieter" but I don't want to be a dieter, I just want to eat better. So, I skipped the bread; I had Espresso instead of dessert (I am immune to caffeine... and I can fly!); I had 8 ozs of beef with frites on the side. I ate much of my beef but did not feel compelled to eat beyond feeling satisfied and full; and I chose the frites over the rich, rich potatoes... because I could enjoy them by eating a few of them, sharing some and sending the rest back.
Make no mistake - I'm not advocating the wasting of food, but if I try to eat only as much as I need to feel satiated, I will learn how to order food for that level and my wasting of food should diminish. But first, I need to get out of the habit of devouring everything on my plate like it's my job!
4. I also learned that Fort Livingstone, Sask. was once the capital of the Norhtwest Territories. Nothing to do with weight loss, but I did learn it today.

So, I am progressing... and managing.
My prayer: God... thanks. Amen